Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
