Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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