God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
