I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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