So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
