i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
