worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
