You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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