told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
