Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
