I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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