we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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