evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
