He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
