hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
well you can't waste a boner
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
