What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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