Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
