your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he puts the penis in happiness.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
