I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
