If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
