Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize