next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
