Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
