just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
