i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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