Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize