oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
