Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
