before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
