Your tits are I can't wait for
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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