The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize