Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
