I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
