I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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