dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I think i got beer on your cat.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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