When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
