I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
