I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
