hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
