I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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