i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
