I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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