you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
