we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
