i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
