Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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