So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
