so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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