Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
