What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
