Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she looked like the before picture.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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