Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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