Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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