Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
