You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
