Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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