Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
